In this episode: postponing dating until I’m 30, Black men and their avoidance, Dimensional analysis, being a fearful avoidant, the Thanksgiving text I received, finding a balance between seeking external validation vs possessing internal validation, not being a clingy bitch.
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Truth is, I’m tired. Options are FEW. I felt Tamela Mann when she said that!
I don’t wanna date these niggas no more, bro. I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. I’ma just wait until I’m 30. I’ma going to keep my coochie hole, my asshole, and my mouth closed until I’m 30. These niggas are not worth it. I feel as though they’ll mature when they reach that age. Niggas will want some serious shit when they reach that age. Maybe? I feel like right now, niggas just want casual stuff. Fuck, take you on some trips, and keep you in rotation. And I’m a TAURUS, so I’m at a stage where I’m just not there right now. I wanna be MARRIED. I wanna have a FAMILY. I wanna be ESTABLISHED. I’m an Earth sign. I love stability and I wanna feel secure with whoever I’m with. But niggas ain’t on that right now, so I’ma just get my shit together and pour into myself until that nigga comes along.
Maybe he will come, maybe he won’t. And that SCARES the fuck outta me, I’m not gon lie to y’all. I’m not gon sit on this internet like the rest of these bitches and put up this facade of not caring about the possibility of NEVER finding love. I won’t do it because it’s so dishonest. Sorry!
In this episode, I explored a lot of my avoidant attachment style (I’m a fearful avoidant, bookie!).
I can’t live with a man. And if I do, we need separate rooms. And I also should have full creative control over the home decor and aesthetic. I don’t know. But I don’t desire to live with a man unless it is on those terms.
I’m extremely picky and plenty of things give me the ick. I don’t wanna wake up to a nigga snoring. I don’t wanna wake up to a nigga’s Playstation in the background. I don’t wanna wake up to a fine man (because my man WILL BE FINE. I don’t do that medium ugly/ugly stuff that y’all do) every waking moment of my life. I don’t wanna cook for a man every day.
Like what you see is what you get.
I also discussed my assertiveness in relationships utilizing the Dimensional app (make sure y’all download!). I’ve never been the ‘submissive’, docile type bitch. I’ve always advocated for myself as far as the men I deal with romantically. Especially in THIS season of my life. I’ve realized plenty of men do not like conflict. They don’t. They run from it. They’d rather keep women around while hating them and holding underlying resentment for issues they NEVER bought to the forefront rather than being open and honest about how certain shit makes them feel because they FEAR intimacy or being seen in any way. That’s where I come in though, because baby one thing about me? I’ma bring that shit outta you once I peep I’ve done sonething that clearly made you feel a way. Only if I love you though!
This isn’t really an aspect of me that I desire to change, being as though I am a very neurodivergent girly and I don’t speak in code. The people around me must be very direct or I’m cool off them. We don’t need to be in communication!
#YAPSESSHHH:
sound off in the comments!
Are you a clingy partner?
What’s your attachment style?
Does dating get better as you get older?
Do you want to live with your partner?
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