I am absolutely insane. I’m so sorry. While I can embody a mature, composed demeanor, there is an imaginative and passionate side to me that shines just as brightly— if not more. I am a risk-taker and a truth-teller, unreserved in my enthusiasm for life. I am the embodiment of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. The Ingenue. The Maiden. All archetypes that fully embody the multiple dimensions I possess.
I actually remember taking the Feminine Archetype test and receiving the Ingenue archetype. These women are a paradox: super playful and childlike, yet also mature and steady.
When I think of examples of these unapologetic, fearless archetypes in media, I think of She’s Gotta Have It’s Nola Darling, Insecure’s Issa Dee, and artists like SZA and Ari Lennox and Rihanna. These women strike a balance between maturity and a playful whimsy. They possess a depth that overall grounds them, yet there’s an undeniable spark of eccentricity that fuels their zest for life. We are a magnet for laidback, chill men who find excitement in the spontaneity we can provide them.
We the type bitches who gon approach the waiter for getting your order wrong. We’ll fight tooth and nail for the ones we love when things get a bit too spicy (cue the dramatic music). We gon sit on the passenger side singing our little hearts out on Instagram live while you driving looking all relaxed and chill and fineeee, LMAOOO. I started to think something was wrong with me for some time until I realized… I just gotta find my ASAP ROCKY who just lovessssss my craziness. Ain’t shit wrong with me, I’m just not everyone’s cup of tea and I refuse to walk around with a ‘woe is me’ mindset all the damn time. I need a man who is absolutely in love with my insanity and fearlessness. A man who doesn’t take everything I do so seriously. A relaxed man who knows his position in my life and doesn’t find my inherently whimsical nature and essence as a liability, but an asset to whatever we’ve already built.
I think plenty of us are really this way as a result of the darkness we’ve been through throughout our years. We are executive overthinkers and the thoughts that occupy our brain hurts too much, so we try not to always focus on that logical part of our thoughts. We love to be in a fantasy land. An alternate universe. We usually always reside there— giving us a bold fearlessness in our interactions with others and how we show up in the world. We done already spend majority of our earlier years in the dark. And unfortunately, some of that darkness has created a special kinda grit and passion for life that is indescribable. Explains our nature.
I remember dealing with a man who was very grounded in who he was and how he approached situations, yet the chaos that lied underneath wasn’t very obvious. I pulled that out of him and encouraged him to embrace the cringe and to embrace the craziness and impulsiveness. It was a really fun experience for me. He simultaneously provided me with wisdom and perspective and routines that I carry with me to this day. I gave him the confidence in putting himself out there as far as his creativity and being fearless in his approach to life. He himself has always thanked me for that.
One of my favorite songs is ‘Scene 1’ by Sebastian Mikael. It’s a love letter to all the wild women who have been made to feel like they were ‘too much’, ‘too intense’, or ‘too inappropriate’. There is a pool of men made exactly for this! I can admit that I’ve allowed a lot of thoughts from others to make me feel as though maybe there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t super curated or because I didn’t ‘act like a lady’. But ain’t shit wrong with me or my spice. I’ve met plenty of niggas who done loved it, plenty who absolutely looked at me with disgust. I hated being misunderstood because it’s an all too familiar feeling for me that I battle with, but now… I just don’t want to explain myself anymore. I disrespected myself every time I did that. Every time I tried to get people to see my humanity just because I’m a different kinda woman. I hate that I did that. I hate that in some ways I admittedly try to be a little more palatable in particular spaces or I’d try to condense certain traits to look a little more appealing. Fuck y’all. Truly. I’m the one.
I posed a question on Threads asking why laidback men love our crazy asses so much, to which I received answers that provided some perspective for me! Here are some responses:
I explored it a little in this episode, utilizing Dimensional! You can download this app to and receive access to daily prompts and quizzes that help you in unraveling YOU. This app reads you downnnnnnn. I promise you. You’ll learn your top love languages, love styles, lover archetypes, and the types of partners you are attracted to!
My LOVE STYLES:
Affirmations: I love receiving words of affirmation from my partner. Tell me how pretty, intelligent, crazysexycool I am. Tell me how brilliant I am. Affirm me when we fuckin!
Touch: I love cuddling with my partner. I’m pretty heavy on PDA depending on the environment. I like holding hands, I like the arm around my waist. Stuff like that.
Gifts: The gifts you give me will just reveal to me how well you know me. So I cherish gifts that are reflective of my interests.
Undivided Time: This is lower on the list because I don’t feel the need to constantly be around my partner 24/7. I just don’t. I need my space to thrive as an individual and to be my best me to you.
Helpful Service: I am pretty self sufficient. Mainly because I’m the oldest daughter and I’ve been used to doing well by myself for years. I depend on me. So while acts of service are helpful, I will never ask for it. I’m the type where you have to just do it. Don’t ask me, just do it. Because I’m going to always say I got it myself.
Here are the types of partners I wouldn’t vibe with:
Nah, because why did Dimensional READ ME TF DOWNNNNNNNN???
Make sure y’all are downloading this app guys! It has been pivotal in helping me discover who I am.
And don’t forget to download my playlist! It’s just songs that are reflective of how I’ve been feeling lately 💋💫
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