i feel like in charli xcx’s brat album she addresses this too. the idea that in openly criticising another woman it means that you are not feminist or even worse… that you are just jealous of them.
This narrative of being in the wrong myself really kept me clinging onto people I shouldn‘t have begun any friendship with in the first place.
I don‘t rationalize negative feelings anymore. If a woman seems off to me, she seems off to me. I move on and live my life with people I feel better around. I‘m neither mean nor nice about it. Neutral.
I have so many wounds from all kinds of women. Rich, poor, whatever. We are harder to read. Do you! Let yourself heal.. don‘t run into the next weird platonic situationship because of loneliness.. best advice I‘ve been given!
Most of these types of people could never be alone. That‘s why they bend and hide so much too. It‘s interesting to think about and leaves room for forgiveness. We‘re all people wanting love at the end of the day. Respect and love always🤞🏼
wow!! reading this made me reminisce on a friendship that ended in 2024. im so glad it ended because that girl was not my friend at alllll and i am actually realizing it now. she displayed some of the same behaviors written in this piece. thank you so much for writing this!!! 🤍
“when did you realize your best friend hated you?”
this essay made me want to cry. You really let the chopper sing with this one.
i went through a traumatic friend breakup in 2023 (right before my birthday) and I’m quite honestly, afraid of making new friends. Having had someone I care for so deeply actually dislike and be jealous of me did a number.
I’m so sorry you went through this, you didn’t deserve any of it. And yes, female friends are hard but it didn’t have to be like THAT.
felt this so much. in the past year i've realized that i've had so many friends that loved me as a funny sidekick, but once i started being a full person, they distance themselves. i am so avoidant when it comes to female friendships now, from all the times i've been disrespected and ghosted. thank you for writing about this. i have so many more thoughts but honestly you put them best.
Wonderful piece! I’ve felt the same throughout my life. It’s taken me a while and a lot of work to find female friendships that are genuine. I just make sure to show up as me, in all my honesty, no matter what. Who and what is for you will always come through.
(My Venus is in Gemini in the 5H~ so we’re just ~like that~, ya feel me?❤️🔥✨)
omg!! i loved reading this! women are so performative (because we’re trained to be) and it is insufferable to deal with! between competitive women and stupid men, i decided that id just rather be alone lol
You just shone a light on something for me, I’ve always wondered why I was the outcast whenever I was around other women. And it’s maybe not just because I grew up with all brothers, it’s because I don’t perform :’) I truly don’t even know how because gender doesn’t mean much to me (at least in regards to how I live my life)
Also fell out with my college “tribe” and reading this made me pause and reflect almost podcast-like in my head about where the hidden animosity was in those friendships. Side note: I’m so happy you found a tribe that will help you grow spiritually and can’t wait to see that growth 🫶🏽
“You’re not as clever as you think you are. You’re not as innovative as you think you are.”
This immediately reminded me of the line toward the end of the Wicked pt. 1 that solidified my hate for Glinda where she's all "maybe you're not as powerful as you thought."
I'm so glad you've moved on to actually supportive and fulfilling friendships and creative output!
Thank you for sharing. Some of these details are interesting to me because I ONLY experience this from Black women who grew up around a lot of white ppl/grew up middle class. A lot of them are jealous of and insecure around Black women who came up in the hood.
“Your body can sense when someone isn’t fond of you” REAL. I regret not listening to my body sometimes, being around others literally made me feel SICK.
I have suspected that my “best” friend was a hater ever since I started my content creation journey. I noticed she would watch my stories and rarely interact & anytime I said anything she would be on some “you know I only have good intentions for you” on some gaslight shit. But I noticed anytime I share good news with her, the response is very short vs when I’m going through it, she has more to say. It got worse this year because after her breakup she started mimicking me… if I say a sentence a certain way, she’ll repeat it word for word in the next hour without giving credit where it’s due. I realized she has been studying how I move socially and make friends. I made the mistake of living with her for half a year, I turned into a shell of myself because I didn’t want to be mimicked all the time so I stopped giving her more content
i feel like in charli xcx’s brat album she addresses this too. the idea that in openly criticising another woman it means that you are not feminist or even worse… that you are just jealous of them.
This narrative of being in the wrong myself really kept me clinging onto people I shouldn‘t have begun any friendship with in the first place.
I don‘t rationalize negative feelings anymore. If a woman seems off to me, she seems off to me. I move on and live my life with people I feel better around. I‘m neither mean nor nice about it. Neutral.
I have so many wounds from all kinds of women. Rich, poor, whatever. We are harder to read. Do you! Let yourself heal.. don‘t run into the next weird platonic situationship because of loneliness.. best advice I‘ve been given!
Most of these types of people could never be alone. That‘s why they bend and hide so much too. It‘s interesting to think about and leaves room for forgiveness. We‘re all people wanting love at the end of the day. Respect and love always🤞🏼
This piece was the shit. Thanks for writing ⭐️
Thank you 🤎
wow!! reading this made me reminisce on a friendship that ended in 2024. im so glad it ended because that girl was not my friend at alllll and i am actually realizing it now. she displayed some of the same behaviors written in this piece. thank you so much for writing this!!! 🤍
“when did you realize your best friend hated you?”
this essay made me want to cry. You really let the chopper sing with this one.
i went through a traumatic friend breakup in 2023 (right before my birthday) and I’m quite honestly, afraid of making new friends. Having had someone I care for so deeply actually dislike and be jealous of me did a number.
I’m so sorry you went through this, you didn’t deserve any of it. And yes, female friends are hard but it didn’t have to be like THAT.
Thank you!! I know you’ll find friends in this lifetime who are better equipped at handling you 🤎
felt this so much. in the past year i've realized that i've had so many friends that loved me as a funny sidekick, but once i started being a full person, they distance themselves. i am so avoidant when it comes to female friendships now, from all the times i've been disrespected and ghosted. thank you for writing about this. i have so many more thoughts but honestly you put them best.
Wonderful piece! I’ve felt the same throughout my life. It’s taken me a while and a lot of work to find female friendships that are genuine. I just make sure to show up as me, in all my honesty, no matter what. Who and what is for you will always come through.
(My Venus is in Gemini in the 5H~ so we’re just ~like that~, ya feel me?❤️🔥✨)
omg!! i loved reading this! women are so performative (because we’re trained to be) and it is insufferable to deal with! between competitive women and stupid men, i decided that id just rather be alone lol
You just shone a light on something for me, I’ve always wondered why I was the outcast whenever I was around other women. And it’s maybe not just because I grew up with all brothers, it’s because I don’t perform :’) I truly don’t even know how because gender doesn’t mean much to me (at least in regards to how I live my life)
Also fell out with my college “tribe” and reading this made me pause and reflect almost podcast-like in my head about where the hidden animosity was in those friendships. Side note: I’m so happy you found a tribe that will help you grow spiritually and can’t wait to see that growth 🫶🏽
I've been saying this for a while - most female friendships are not rooted in honesty! Thank you for this real piece.
“You’re not as clever as you think you are. You’re not as innovative as you think you are.”
This immediately reminded me of the line toward the end of the Wicked pt. 1 that solidified my hate for Glinda where she's all "maybe you're not as powerful as you thought."
I'm so glad you've moved on to actually supportive and fulfilling friendships and creative output!
Thank you for sharing. Some of these details are interesting to me because I ONLY experience this from Black women who grew up around a lot of white ppl/grew up middle class. A lot of them are jealous of and insecure around Black women who came up in the hood.
“Your body can sense when someone isn’t fond of you” REAL. I regret not listening to my body sometimes, being around others literally made me feel SICK.
Whewwwww. Needed this read. I feel soooooo seen.
I felt this to my core! Thank you! 🙏🏾
I have suspected that my “best” friend was a hater ever since I started my content creation journey. I noticed she would watch my stories and rarely interact & anytime I said anything she would be on some “you know I only have good intentions for you” on some gaslight shit. But I noticed anytime I share good news with her, the response is very short vs when I’m going through it, she has more to say. It got worse this year because after her breakup she started mimicking me… if I say a sentence a certain way, she’ll repeat it word for word in the next hour without giving credit where it’s due. I realized she has been studying how I move socially and make friends. I made the mistake of living with her for half a year, I turned into a shell of myself because I didn’t want to be mimicked all the time so I stopped giving her more content